Punk Chic Turns Five ...

Well on Wednesday she does. But we had a pre-celebration with Punk Chic's friends yesterday for her upcoming big number five birthday!

Her birthday, I think, will always fall in the school holidays so I really need to be on high alert to ensure her friends are around to help her celebrate each year for about, oh the next 12 years or so. Not counting.

The problem comes with the her being at the tail end of our whirlwind May/June chaos with all those birthdays and events that have us running through the month. Luckily (so far) each year I have remembered to get her invites out and organise a party. Just.

Every year it is the same. I think I have so much time to organise her birthday and then I'm frantically handing out invites where the RSVP date gets changed so it doesn't look like they were supposed to go out earlier.

In any case, we scraped through for another year and, as with last year, I vowed I would be organised for her next year. But ...

The invites went out ...

We went shopping for her costume (and some Max Brenner's. For her. Of course) ...

Her friends arrived and had a blast with musical statues and just running around in general. We are not a big party games family here. The kids usually don't ask for Pass the Parcel or the likes so it's usually just musical statues and a lot of running around.

There was a  rescue of a younger sibling from the top of one of our shipping containers after the poor kid got locked in the chook yard and his surivial mode kicked in so he started climbing his way to freedom. That was a bit of a heart in throat moment but luckily we got to him before he tried to get off said container. Never let it be said we don't have eventful parties here on the farm!

And then we honoured our little pussy cat birthday girl ...

And she was so happy! Seriously the best party. So easy. Even one of the mothers commented on how stress free it was (well excluding the little boy on the container. Just a touch stressful) but when one has a disco ball in a room full of mirrors with music on, what is there to plan?

And she loved it all. She is so easygoing that she really didn't care what colour her cake was or whether it was just the head of the cat or the whole cat. She is one of those kids that just loves the fact it's been done for her. When some of the parents asked what to get her it was as simple as saying she would love anything she received. Because she really would. And did.

She was showered with gifts from her friends and it's clear she has made some really lovely little friends this past year. I am so proud of my little Punk Chic. She has settled in so well to the school year and her teacher has remarked at how well she is coping considering her place as youngest in the class.

She is confident and intelligent and funny and loving and (usually) is so easy to be around. She gets grumpy when she's tired, devastated when Miss Tween won't include her and frustrated with Gumboot Girl because "she's such a baby."

Her smile is amazing, her giggle infectious and her eyes sparkle with excitment.

Punk Chic! I'm so glad you enjoyed your day. You are an amazing little girl and we love you to the moon and beyond and back again!

Winning is so Sweet ...

Arriving home from the girls' weekend and being flung straight back into the routine that is school runs and toddlers and groceries and toddlers and dinner and ... Did I mention toddlers? Or just one to be exact but she is the equivalent to at least two on any given day. It didn't really make for a nice wind down after the weekend if I am to be brutally honest.

I was busily trying to organise the washing that managed to hang tight until my return and fold and put away the three baskets full that also had awaited my return - and I'm not complaining honestly. My husband never gets upset when I go away or go out with the girls and I always come home to a clean house so I really do know how lucky I am - when I noticed a parcel at the front gate. As is always the case here, I frantically run through all the "what could it be" and "maybe for me" scenarios before accepting the cold hard reality that it is rarely, if at all ever, for me.

And then ... it had my name on it. Brain starts up again. No recent EBay purchases. Shoes already received from friend.* Maybe it just has my name on it but it's for someone else.

Look Mummy! For you.

But it had my name on it. So I opened it. And much to my delight it was for me! I had totally forgotten about entering and winning a prize over at Sarah's blog from this talented lady here.

We had to retie the ribbon before

taking this photo. Ooops.

And I really wanted to capture it all properly and be patient and wait for the perfect moment. Turns out that perfect moment was right then and there and Gumboot Girl and I (as patiently as we could of course) managed to get a few photos while devouring these ...

Unfortunately, the only person who likes them here is, well, me. It's a hard job but somebody has to eat them all. And I'm pleased to say I have almost completed the task. Which wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't having tattoo remorse for not being able to exercise this week or the fact that I have access to free swing dancing lessons and couldn't partake this week either. Worth it though. ;p

 Didn't even make it off the driveway ...

Ah well, I can eat them and look at my newly inked foot while sipping on cups of tea and enjoy the rest of the week knowing I have the perfect excuse not to exercise before feeling the pressure to get back into it next week.

Thank you so much to Sarah and Lisa. They are seriously delicious!

*Must post a photos of those babies!

The After Thoughts ...

So after my last post - and thanks so much to everyone for their comments - I packed and headed off for the girls' weekend. I car pooled with another one of the girls heading down who I had met a few times previously and we hit it off right from the start, chatting the whole way and willing ourselves to get there - minus any speeding fines -  as soon as possible so we could join the festivities.

We arrived and were greeted by the other three very "happy" girls that would make up our group for the weekend and, after a few drinks and a special birthday presentation, headed into town to check out the night life - of which there was little but it was still a nice way to ease into the weekend.

After meeting a few of the colourful locals, we headed home again and decided to indulge in a full night's sleep, the highlight of leaving our children behind I'm sure. Unfortunately, none of us slept past about 7.30. What is with that? Holiday. No kids. But of course all too excited to sleep for fear of not fitting enough in to our weekend.

A slow start saw us heading out for breakfast around 9 - except for said travel buddy who got up at 6.30 to go for a 10km jog. Crazy woman! - and then headed over to a friend's tattoo shop to make some "enquiries". Enquiries that resulted in travel buddy leaving the shop with some new ink and me heading back later that afternoon to meet up with my dearest friend - I would say oldest friend but at our age I try to steer clear of that one - to get inked ourselves.

A leisurely stroll around the shops, a coffee, a movie and some more window shopping and it was time to head back to the tattoo shop. And then it was onto a restaurant for a mexican feast and then home again to get ready to head out for the night.

All the best laid plans resulted in us drinking at home and having loads of conversations about loads of topics - nope, not going to spill here. Now if it was just me and myself having the conversations, you know you'd hear all about them but out of the interest of privacy and the likes, what happens on the holiday .... I will say that the one soon to be married person in the group may have learnt a little too much though - and just having a quiet night in.

Hard to believe the weekend went by so quickly but it was lovely to just relax and do things at a relaxed pace rather than trying to fit in a conversation with the up and down, up and down routine that is a get together with children in tow.

As for my last post. I'll admit to being a little guarded on the trip. For no other reason than needing to feel like I was taking a bit of a backseat and allowing others to participate. I think subconsciously that had probably already started well before the weekend and I worry now that it has affected the end result a little for others as well as myself.

But you live and learn and I am looking forward to the next get together whether it be for a coffee, a night out or a weekend away again. And I have vowed to let my guard down because otherwise how will I ever know whether people like me for who I truly am if I don't stay true to myself?

I feel very lucky to have been included in a trip with such an awesome group of women! Thanks again girls for a great weekend!!! And of course to Mr M for the accommodation and help with getting the present for the birthday girl sorted!

To Belong ...

I have been thinking a lot about what it is to belong lately. I have spent so much of my time avoiding mothers' groups, school mum groups, blogging groups, online groups. Any group at all really, feeling like it was unnecessary for me.

When in fact I think the opposite is true. I believe belonging is important for most people. And so it got me to thinking that, if I believed this, then why have I always resisted becoming part of a group. And although the answer has probably been sitting with me for a while, it is even clearer now as to why I shy away from them.

Rejection.

Plain and simple as that. Everywhere I look, within every group, I always feel like I'm just on the outskirts. I have never felt as though I have belonged. I look at other people within the same groups and there seems to be some kind of connection, a connection I guess most people don't feel with me. And it's not that I want everybody to like me but it does make me wonder why I am that person that is always on the outside looking in and watching these groups develop strong, binding relationships. No sympathy required. It is what it is. My take on things if you like.

I watch other groups form out of a mutual interest and it seems so natural and yet it seems to elude me. Occasionally I try to put myself out there but I usually walk away feeling like the first impression just wasn't enough.

And it's a hard one to put my finger on. I know I'm a good person. I would do just about anything for anyone yet I don't think I'm the type of person that everyone can accept. I think that maybe I am an acquired taste? I think you have to get to know me before you can really like me. I talk a lot. I get excited and try as I might, I sometimes feel like I have monopolised conversations purely through that excitement of being with a group of women who I love being with.

Or maybe it is simply the fact that I get so caught up in my family and trying to squeeze work in around them that there is little time for anything else and there needs to be more effort made on my part to strengthen those relationships. Gone are the days when there was nothing but time to hang out with friends. Now it is about school routines and gymnastics and kids' birthday parties and homework. And then trying to fit everything else in around those activities.

I have some really great friends, don't get me wrong. Quite a lot actually that would be there at the drop of a hat should I need them and vice versa. They are my strength and have seen me through my share of heartache. And I know that relationships don't just happen. Of course there are times when you just click with someone but more often than not there is no history shared and quite often it is the history that becomes the ties that bind. And so it takes time to build relationships and create memories, both good and bad, that make a relationship what it is. So to do that within a group is even more challenging and quite often takes a major event to create the closeness.

Or are there clicks within groups that I am not seeing? And although it looks like all members are on a level playing field, there are in fact a couple of people who are closer than the others.

I don't know. But as I am getting older, I am realising the importance of the sisterhood. I know it's probably a corny, silly term to use but that's what it feels like when I see these kinds of groups. And having no sisters of my own, I kind of feel like I'm missing out.

But over the last couple of years I have definitely seen a shift in the way I view these things. And I put myself out there and try not to worry that the first impression wasn't enough. And remind myself that there are people where my first impression will be enough. Because it has been in the past. And those good friends that I already have are proof of that.

And this year I am beginning to see a merging of some of my closest friends. But not only that I'm seeing more of an opportunity to belong. And I'm making a conscious effort to nurture and grow these relationships because I am realising just how important they are to me and hopefully to my friends.

So this weekend sees a group of us heading down the coast for a girls' weekend. And even though secretly I'll be worried that I'm talking too much or drinking too much (or both), I am so looking forward to it. I can't wait to see how the weekend pans out and I know that it is an adventure that will strengthen those ties that bind and I will get to know these women on yet another level.

And I am excited that we are all coming together because it makes life all the more sweeter!

Hope you have a fantastic birthday weekend, Mrs M! See you soon ...

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Tuesday on the Mountain (on Thursday) ...

Ooops. Haven't had a chance to share and to be honest it has come to my attention that I am crap at remembering to take photos on Tuesdays!

BUT, in my defence, on this past Tuesday I had camera in hand and at the ready and even had my idea all planned out and then bumped into a friend and proceeded to have coffee with her instead. Ooops.

So this is the only one I got. This is the street I'd like to live on one day ...

And if you wouldn't mind just tilting your head to the side to get the idea because it won't rotate in Blogger for me. Hnnngh!

Too much?

I was speaking with some kids the other day and they were telling me about all the extra curricular activities they do after school. Swimming, karate, soccer and the promise of BMX racing to boot. And I know of other kids that do dancing, gymnastics, violin (or the likes) practice.

It seems these days it is the norm to put kids into not just one sport but two or three and that's not counting anything they actually participate in at school.

And it got me thinking. A friend of mine gave me a book for my birthday a couple of years ago and it suggested that as families we are getting busier. Two parents working (as is often the case. Not always but often), before school care, after school care, sporting activities, musical lessons, you name it, we provide it for our kids.

Which in itself is nothing bad. We do it because we want to provide for them. To allow them to do all the things we possibly didn't get a chance to do growing up. I know my mother struggled to keep us all in one sport each when we were growing up and then my older brother played guitar as well so I can only imagine what the cost of this was to her as a single mum. Maybe Dad contributed, I'm unsure, but still it wouldn't have been cheap for them.

And we have done it ourselves with Miss Tween doing two different dance classes and then wanting to take on gymnastics and us wanting her learn an instrument (preferably the piano for starters). We could have easily fallen into the trap when it was just her being old enough to take on these activities. But then Punk Chic got to an age where she wanted to dance too.

And that's when  I came to the realisation that there was very little time left for us as a family. The past couple of years have seen us streamline this down. A LOT. We have decided that the girls can partake in one sporting activity per year. Usually it can be per term or semester but with the dollars we have forked out for gymnastics this year, they will be sticking with it for the whole year. They had a choice to make between swimming, dancing or gymnastics. They both chose gymnastics. They are both in classes at nine which is better than dancing last year when Punk Chic did a half hour class at 10:30 and then we would come home and take Miss Tween back for her hour class at 12pm. Our Saturdays were over before they began. At least this year we're done by 10:00!

I know swimming is important especially as we live in Australia. I actually think a year or two of nippers wouldn't hurt either. But our girls can swim. They do not have perfect strokes or are ready to join squad but they can swim. So we have been happy to let them opt out. Gumboot Girl will need more lessons but we need to find a suitable time slot to fit in around everything else (and this is just with the girls doing one sport). I can hardly imagine what it would be like trying to fit in all different timetables if the girls took on more or even chose different activities. Not to mention they have gymnastics homework every afternoon as well.

And now, Punk Chic is keen to do BMX* where practice is a Tuesday night. We tried this the other week and it just. Didn't. Work. Punk Chic was tired the next day for school, it carried over through the rest of the week and the other two didn't fare much better. CJ then took her last Friday night but we had to get her up for gymnastics the next morning so not really sure how we're going to fit that in. Thankfully at present, she's not wanting to race or there would be a whole world of rearranging due to racing being a Friday night. No way could she do that and then back it up with gymnastics the next morning.

It's hard enough keeping the work/life balance let alone throwing another ball in the air.

So what do you think? Are we making our lives way too busy? Do our kids really need more than one thing a week (or anything at all) on top of schooling and family commitments and what age is appropriate? How do you prioritise when all the kids want to do something different (because I'm thinking Gumboot Girl will be ready to take on something next year and if it's not the same as her sisters, I have no idea how we'll fit it in)?


*I wrote this a little while ago and these days the immediate threat of BMX has subsided. Hopefully after the money spent on them by their Aunty they will want to ride again though.

Participation is the Key ...

Last Friday was the school sports carnival.

Because I car pool with a friend and I had decided to stay and watch Punk Chic's first sports day, it was my duty to take all four kids up and get them motivated to participate. The two younger kids were fine. All revved up and ready to go.

But the older two. Well, there were tears. There were protests of not wanting to participate. Of not being good at running. Of not wanting to come last.

I preached reiterated - oh who am I kidding. I got on my soap box and chanted - over and over again on the way up that it was not a day of coming first* but a day of participation. For your team. Because to turn up and participate meant you got a point which meant you helped your team over the line. It didn't matter as long as you tried. And I told them that if they sat out and watched everyone else having fun they'd regret it because you don't get do overs although I'm sure they're well aware that they will get a do over next year and the year after that and the year after that when it comes to sports carnivals at school. LOL

By the time we arrived I am sure they were totally over the speech and wished they could hit the mute button prepared mentally for what I assured them would be a fun day.

And they all raced. And they all did their best. And I cheered them all on and told them how awesome they all were.

My nephews are also at the school and when one of the cousins raced all you could hear were the chants of two combined families pushing the competitor forward. I'm sure most of the school wished we would just shut up and go home but if there is something I'm great at it's cheering from the sidelines. It's my way of participating. I am all for getting behind a team. Heck, I even cheered for kids I knew on the other team and then some.

The results were brilliant. As it turned out Miss Tween came first anyway which just proved to her that she might even surprise herself sometimes. And my little Punk Chic came 2nd holding onto her hat for the whole race.

But it wasn't just in the winning either. The comraderie within that school shines through even more so on these days. With kids who weren't racing, running alongside the slower kids on the field. Giving them that encouragement to push on and complete the race even if they were coming last. It was so nice to see kids being so supportive and encouraging. Everyone. Being part of a team.

And then it happened.

The parents' 100m sprint. And my preaching came back to bite me fair smack on the butt. I had to participate. I would get a point for our team. But more than that. I had to show those four kids that every word I had uttered in that car was true. That you shouldn't sit on the sidelines - or just cheer from the sidelines for that matter - but you should be the one people are cheering for. It didn't matter so long as you had a go. And so I did.

And after the first four steps, my legs were hating me and I was wondering how on earth I would make it. But I kept thinking of those kids and I could hear my family cheering me on from the sidelines. My nephews, my daughter - tell me why they would take the prep kids away just as the parents' race was starting? There were six mums with prep kids who all missed out on cheering for us - my sister-in-law and my friends. And I laughed the whole way. Not sure if it was to hide the suffering or the embarrassment - have I ever mentioned how much I worry about making a complete idjit of myself or what people will think of me? I watch other people and think they are so brave but it is something I am working on - or both but let's just say that I was ill prepared for any kind of exercise that day in jeans, long sleeved shirt and heavy shoes!

AND ...

I came fourth! No there were not only four competitors. There were eight of us. And I am so glad I did it. I don't know if it will make any difference to those kids in the long run or whether it is something that will stick with them - although there was a lot of cheering so they clearly enjoyed watching the grown ups have a go - but sometimes you have to dig deep and practice what you preach.

Miss Tween thought I 

deserved my very own ribbon!

And even though my legs were not thanking me the next day - or the day after for that matter - it reminded me that I like to run. And it motivated me to get back into my running program.

So look out girls! Next year, I'm coming back for a shot at the title! Muwahahahahahaha.


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