While we were driving home from another family get together last night - we went and had dinner with my Dad and he was one happy man. He loves nothing more than seeing his kids and grandkids and I always promise that I will do it more often and then that bloody thing called Life gets in my way. This time, I really need to make more of an effort to make this happen though. He doesn't ask for much so how hard can it be for us to get together once a month ...
Oh sorry about that. Had to get that thought down obviously.
Anyway, as I was saying, we were driving home when Miss Tween started asking me about what I wanted to be when I grew up.
"A mum," I replied.
She rephrased the question asking about all the times I had danced overseas and what about when I was really little and I again repeated my answer.
"A mum."
"So you never wanted to be anything else?" she asked.
And I thought really hard. Because, surely, as a young child or even a teen or young adult there must have been something else I had wanted to be? Wasn't there?
Nope. Unless you count, of course, my secret desire to be a star on Young Talent Time or Neighbours, I guess.
Or an accountant perhaps?
All of these were fleeting thoughts though and, when I look back at the amount of times I made my younger brother play with my dolls - he was always Uncle Scott for the record. His favourite name at the time obviously - and the day I got my first baby doll (for the life of me I can't remember her name now which is surprising for me. Maybe it changed a lot. I never was very good at making decisions) all wrapped up in a bunny rug in her brand new pram, I am certain that was always my heart's desire.
I did want the happily ever after. I did want the white wedding and to feel like a princess for a day! I did want the 2.5 kids - Well actually, I wanted 2. Not sure how/who changed that part of the plan. I did want the white picket fence (a little different to our compound style fencing. Ha!). I wanted it all.
And Miss Tween said "So you just wanted to be a mum."
And it broke my heart a little that, as with a lot of people, she sees me as just a mum. Just.
It's a word that makes us seem so dispensable, replaceable, unimportant. And I'm sure she (and a lot of other people) don't mean it that way when they say it - I may have even said it myself once or twice - but you can't help but feel that little sting.
I didn't try to correct her. She is still too young to understand. One day when she becomes just a mum, she will know. She will know what being just a mum entails.
And although I wouldn't change a single thing ...
... for a mere second I thought how easy it would be to be just an accountant.
3 comments:
Nooooooooo - not an accountant! It is sad that our most important role is the one that is valued so little.
Out of all the things I have done I know which is by far the hardest and the most fulfilling of my life.
Accountants aren't that bad - I'm one !!!!
Totally agree with you about visiting your Dad - I often feel the same with my parents thinking that it really wouldn't take long to pop in on the way home from work but somehow it just doesn't happen as often as I (and I am sure they) would like. I will try to be better at this next year.
My Dad often leaves a message on my phone saying "It's just Dad calling" and I am forever saying - you aren't just Dad - you are Dad and we laugh but sometimes I wonder if he feels like he is just Dad.
Have a great day !
I have often toyed with the idea of studying accountancy but it always feels like such a long haul to study it part time. Who knows. I might study it one day.
If I was going to be anything else, it would be an accountant! LOL
But I certainly wouldn't change a thing!
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