So here it is.
My reason for being so damn cranky. Something happened over the weekend - yes. MY weekend. The weekend that was supposed to see me relaxing and enjoying my 24 hour retreat - that has been eating at me. Somebody I have just recently become friends with on Facebook commented on a status. Which, of course, is not the issue. But it kind of is ...
The issue is that this person chose to make a comment that belittled me. Again, it's more about said person than me. I see the type of relationship we have always had. This person has to make fun. It obviously makes them feel better. They do it in most situations whether it be to me or somebody else.
It's a kind of sense of humour I dislike but it's one that is extremely common.
BUT my problem with it is this. This person has chosen to come into "my space" and make fun of me in front of my friends. And it really irked me. The comment was a pointless one, no opinion expressed. It's aim simply to belittle. I doubt anybody else would have noticed and I didn't reply to the comment. I simply ignored it.
And by ignoring it, rather than being able to let it go, the opposite has been true. It has been sitting there, eating at me. It put a black mark on my weekend away by just sitting below the surface. It won't dissipate. It's not fading. It's just staying there. Just below the surface.
Because I want to say something yet I know ignoring it is the most appropriate way to deal with it. I am not the type to have a war on FB especially not over something this minor.
But because it is sitting there and I have no way to respond, I can't find a way to let it go. It will come. No doubt about that. But I think it takes longer when you can't (or won't) or don't know how to deal with it. And being the *ahem* slight over thinker that I am certainly doesn't help. But by responding, I'm just opening it up for the world to watch the train wreck that will be. Because this person always has a comeback and I know if I write anything back (even in light heartedness) it will come back to bite me in the arse. The way it always has.
And so every little thing that comes in on top of that little parasite just eats at me a bit more until I yell or scream about everything else but that!
That's just it, isn't it? I'm venting over the things I feel "safe" to vent about - which don't get me wrong, probably are long overdue for a vent anyway. There are just some things I let slide for so long but it's time to start pulling your socks up people - but not the actual event that has caused the need.
It's a pattern. I know. And I'm sure my wise friend, Miss K, will be nodding her head here with me. It's ingrained. From my childhood. And it's getting the better of me.
Something so little and trivial that has pressed my buttons so much.
5 comments:
Oh darlin', so not on!
I put up with snide digs and mockery from a former friend for 6 long months as I desperately tried to maintain a toxic friendship. My advice - don't. Delete her or him and walk away.
I went through the options, including putting them on a list to limit what they could see on my wall, not allowing them to comment, all sorts of things but it merely transferred the poison to other peoples walls (mutual friends). It caused me all sorts of angst but finally I realised I had to walk away.
As I always said to the kids: you can control your actions, you cannot control the actions of another.
You do not need this, you are too lovely a person to ever feel this way.
xx
T
What wonderful advice from Madmother. I wholeheartedly agree. As an over-thinker myself I know I can't afford to have people like that in my life. Time to delete them and find closure. :)
I say you remove it. Simply clip and delete. If they ask why, then say you felt it was belittling and you didn't want it on YOUR page. If they can't respect that UN-FRIEND. Be brave. Stand for yourself. Others will follow.
That's my two cents. Retrain the crazy because seriously. that sort of funny just ain't funny.
I hope that by knowing what it was that irked you has brought you some relief. I totally know how the little comment can be pissing you off though. You don't want to stoop that low and retort but by leaving it you feel it is being allowed to happen and part of you just wants to reach out and bitch slap the commenter. If you can, remove the comment and maybe even the friendship. That can be messy but if that comment has been the sole cause of the mood from yesterday's post, it will be worth it. Or use the block button.
I hope you can breath easier soon. and I wish I had better advice.
I have no advice as fortunately haven't had to deal with anything like this just yet on fb but I would unfriend them and then block. No-one needs toxic relationships and definitely not in the public sphere.
Hope it doesn't keep eating away at you. People like this are not worth the effort. xx
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