So here it is.
My reason for being so damn cranky. Something happened over the weekend - yes. MY weekend. The weekend that was supposed to see me relaxing and enjoying my 24 hour retreat - that has been eating at me. Somebody I have just recently become friends with on Facebook commented on a status. Which, of course, is not the issue. But it kind of is ...
The issue is that this person chose to make a comment that belittled me. Again, it's more about said person than me. I see the type of relationship we have always had. This person has to make fun. It obviously makes them feel better. They do it in most situations whether it be to me or somebody else.
It's a kind of sense of humour I dislike but it's one that is extremely common.
BUT my problem with it is this. This person has chosen to come into "my space" and make fun of me in front of my friends. And it really irked me. The comment was a pointless one, no opinion expressed. It's aim simply to belittle. I doubt anybody else would have noticed and I didn't reply to the comment. I simply ignored it.
And by ignoring it, rather than being able to let it go, the opposite has been true. It has been sitting there, eating at me. It put a black mark on my weekend away by just sitting below the surface. It won't dissipate. It's not fading. It's just staying there. Just below the surface.
Because I want to say something yet I know ignoring it is the most appropriate way to deal with it. I am not the type to have a war on FB especially not over something this minor.
But because it is sitting there and I have no way to respond, I can't find a way to let it go. It will come. No doubt about that. But I think it takes longer when you can't (or won't) or don't know how to deal with it. And being the *ahem* slight over thinker that I am certainly doesn't help. But by responding, I'm just opening it up for the world to watch the train wreck that will be. Because this person always has a comeback and I know if I write anything back (even in light heartedness) it will come back to bite me in the arse. The way it always has.
And so every little thing that comes in on top of that little parasite just eats at me a bit more until I yell or scream about everything else but that!
That's just it, isn't it? I'm venting over the things I feel "safe" to vent about - which don't get me wrong, probably are long overdue for a vent anyway. There are just some things I let slide for so long but it's time to start pulling your socks up people - but not the actual event that has caused the need.
It's a pattern. I know. And I'm sure my wise friend, Miss K, will be nodding her head here with me. It's ingrained. From my childhood. And it's getting the better of me.
Something so little and trivial that has pressed my buttons so much.