Before My Head Hits the Pillow ...

I have to say Happy Birthday to my gorgeous now seven year old! SEVEN!!!

I know I say this every year but I don't know how I got to be the mum of a seven year old. I can't believe I have not only kept somebody else alive for that long but that somebody is such a unique, confident, witty, intelligent and caring little girl. That somebody loves me even on my crazy mummy days and that somebody was the first somebody that made me a mother and somebody I have helped mould into all of those things that I adore.

I feel so blessed to have you in my life. I love watching you grow and change and experience and learn and, well ... I just love every little piece of you (even the crazy bits you inherited from me). I am so proud of you and love spending time just hanging out. I hope I never get too uncool for you but I know I probably will and I just hope it doesn't last long because I don't want to miss any part of your life!!!

I hope you loved having your friends here to celebrate your birthday and that your disco party was something you will remember in years to come.

You are all tucked up in bed with two of your friends and of course Miss Schmoo and I am exhausted. Between running around to grab some last minute things today, trying to make that damn disco ball cake and the keys getting locked in the car thanks to the Wee One I haven't had a chance to come in and write but I really wanted to do it before your birthday came to a close.

Happy Birthday AJ!!!! I love you a bunch of Sundays (which is kind of a funny saying now that one of your closest friend's name is Sunday but it's a saying we have had since you could talk so I'm sticking with it). You are worth every little bit and more of the planning that went into your party tonight!!! Sweet dreams ...

Coming Up For Air ...

Slowly but surely. I have been so busy of late which is good, great in fact but it means little time for the fun stuff like posting in here.

I have taken on another client and am getting some great feedback from some of the companies I currently subcontract to. I haven't been able to get back online for a couple of weeks and although they have told me to jump online whenever I'm free, I still feel a pang of guilt at not being able to get to them again this week.

BUT I've also taken a bit of time out from the work side of things too. Shopping with the girls at Ikea to make AJ's new room change a little easier to accept. She has not coped. At all. With the change. Last night was night five and we succeeded in getting her to sleep without her talking herself into a state starting from an hour before bedtime and getting her through the night with no tears.

It has really affected her. And me. Seems every time I think I have a handle on my children's personalities and how to deal with each of them they throw me a curveball. But we are getting there.

Apart from handling things very badly the first couple of nights, I am finding a way to get AJ through it. What seemed such a small gesture of giving our big girl her very own room has turned her world upside down and I was so unprepared. But we are getting there, her and I. We're getting through it and I'm loving that I've figured it out.

I've realised I was reacting out of fear. Fear that her behaviour and inability to cope would mean so much more as she gets older. But I've come to think that maybe this is how we learn to cope. We get thrown challenges and, although we may not deal with them the first time around, we learn from them and teach ourselves coping strategies for the future. Hopefully shopping sprees won't become her way of coping but, hey if that's the case I'd certainly prefer that to some of the alternatives. And I've got a few more great ideas up my sleeve after today's chat with my sister-in-law so I am looking forward to putting a few of these in place and seeing if they give her the help she needs to settle in.

And now the cot has been taken apart and sent to the tip. It has done it's job for all three of my babes and it was time to put the poor old thing into retirement. My baby is in a big girl's bed, she's in the bottom bunk now sharing a room with Miss Schmooey. And Schmoo? Well she is all Queen of the World because she's secured the top bunk and she is now referred to as The Captain!

So I'm coming up quickly for some air because next week I'll be thrown back into our yearly May/June chaos with more birthdays than I dare to count but starting with a very important disco party next Friday night for one Miss AJ who will be turning seven! Wow!

And now, I must put my head back down and bum up and get to work so I can relax and enjoy having a bunch of girlfriends over this evening for a drink and some nibblies!

And Then I Received This ...

After going through all of these dramas recently, I decided to make what feels like yet another sacrifice on my part and minimise my workload to avoid the conflict that seems to arise when I'm in the office for extended periods of time.

I sent off an email apologising to one of the companies* I work for and advising that I could just no longer commit to their minimum availability rule. I like working for this company. I don't always get a lot of work through them because I am governed by two small children wandering the house most days but the files they send are usually of very good quality and not overly difficult to transcribe. Compared to some, it is a walk in the park.

I have not been in touch all week with them and decided this was my week for unwinding and deciding how much work I was going to start taking on/putting off etc. After hitting "send" I headed over to a friend's for coffee finally feeling a sense of relief for not having to feel guilty every time I wasn't logged in for work.

I have just arrived home and found this lovely email in my Inbox.

As you are a great asset to (company name) we would like to keep you on as a contractor.

If you are able to just drop me an email or come online when your available, I can allocate work accordingly.

Couple that with this message that I received two weeks ago ...

I just wanted to say that you are doing a really good job, the transcripts that you have been producing are of great quality. Well done! Thank you for all your hard work.

And I am thrilled. One, because if I have the time or feel as though it's time to turn things up a notch they will be happy to allocate me some work but most of all because I have worked hard to ensure that my work is of an extremely high standard and obviously this has paid off and is duly noted.

So lovely to receive a compliment from time to time.

*This was where I decided to start until marketing kicked in and I could find my own clients. Luckily I haven't gone down that path as yet or I may have had to pull the pin on my own clients. I am really glad life takes me where I need to be!

Retraction ...

So, I need to set the record straight because I feel it wouldn't be far if I got to come in and whinge and bitch about things and then never mentioned if they got sorted or misinterpreted.

Which is what happened here.

One of the people that I felt had hurt me in that post has now explained how she was trying to protect me from having to deal with the nightmare she was facing especially being here by myself with the girls at that time.

We have since sorted it all out and I am very thankful that, although it was handled a little left of field, it was meant with good intention.

She's doing it tough but she's still getting through it and I am very proud of her!

I am still disappointed with some other so-called friends, don't get me wrong, but she's off the hook. ;p

When You're Not Looking ...

It Didn't Work ...

After writing this and feeling so positive.

I don't know what to do now.

How quickly things change.