Thought for the Day...

So, there is alot of things I need to address but just don't seem to have the energy to do so at this given point in time. I will. It's just that, well, I need to actually work through it all first and put everything in it's place. Soon....

But for now a thought for the day. Haven't done one for a while and I like this quote from Bill Cosby....

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

See? That's funny but true!

Looming...

There is a feeling I can't shake. I've had it for the last two days.

I can't explain why I feel this way. It's a heavy, dark feeling looming over me that makes me want to retreat. I know there must be an underlying reason somewhere deep within my psyche but I'm yet to find it.

There is that feeling of needing to cry, you know? Really cry. Open the flood gates. I can't recall the last time I did that (it wouldn't have been too long ago I'm sure as I'm quite an emotional person) and I can't see any reason for needing to but, maybe, just maybe, I've been worrying about others too much lately and not focusing on myself enough.

Purely clutching at straws here in an attempt to unravel the mystery that is this feeling. To oust this feeling into view so I can acknowledge it and move on.

It feels like a giant right now, albeit an invisible one. Feeling a little invisible myself but still can't actually figure out why.

I hate this feeling.

It's official...

Today I will turn 34. Not just yet though. I wasn't born until 11.55pm or something like that so I'm going to enjoy the last remaining hours of my 33rd year damn it!

I must say, today has been fabulous! Started off with a swing dance lesson last night with my hubby which we haven't done in quite a while due to a severe lack of potential babysitters. We had sooo much fun.

Then, I was treated to a surprise sleepin from my girls and THEN..... yes then, I received some pressies in the mail and an offer of admission to my uni course.

So far, so good and I'm not even 34 yet!

It's My Party...

A couple of days early but add into that the Playstation 2 "Singstar" Game and you can see why it had to be held on the weekend.

So start with a morning of singing Barbie Girl and Wannabe with my 4 year old and Aqua or the Spice Girls for back up. Follow it up with great friends, a few drinks and a delicious chocolate ladened cheese cake (albeit with the #1 candle in the centre) and you've got one awesome party.

All organised by the man himself. Yep, hubby. He organised the whole kit and kaboodle.

That's love!

PS. All day I just wanted Nani Kaf to turn up on the doorstep and take the mic! Happy Birthday Dude! There will be loads of belated birthday drinks in Fiji.

Did Someone Hit The Mute Button???

I swear to god that I can't be heard. Seriously!

You would think that, seeings as though I'm the one home 7 days a week, I'd know a thing or two about nap times, sleep cycles, feeds etc.

But, apparently, everytime we get to the weekend there is a new expert in town changing the rules. So then when things go a little haywire you would think that my view might just be acknowledged and there might just be a thought that "hey, she probably has a good idea about this!".

But noooooo. Oh no dear readers. We just keep on changing the rules and, well damn, let's just make up some new ones while we're at it just to keep everyone on their toes.

And I just can't help but think that I'm moving my lips but there's not a sound coming out!

ETA: Okay, okay! So the rules being changed had little to no effect THIS TIME but, from past experience, it could have gone either way so I'm not deleting this entry. And you can't make me so... Ner-nerni-ner-ner!

I'll cry if I want to...

My *ahem* 34th birthday is fast approaching.

Just thought I'd note it!

Noted.

Somebody slap me....

So our little Schmooey is back to an okay sleeping habit. She does around the 10 hour stretch, meaning we get at least 6 which is good. Great in fact.

Until I go and do something silly like I did this morning. Heard her cry out around 5.15 and, instead of thinking first about giving her some time to resettle (which she had done by the time I got up the stairs), figured I'd go and put her dummy back in. Only to arrive and see that the dummy is in but she has realised I'm there.

So the next 1 hour and 15 minutes were spent trying to get her to resettle before totally giving up and getting her up for breakfast.

But on the upside, you get alot done when you get up this early. I had hung out a load of nappies, showered, got both kids breakfast and got them dressed, out of the house by 8 to do the groceries and home in time for Playschool!

The rest of the day is for doing pretty much nada!

Growing pains...

It's becoming increasingly obvious that both of our girls are growing up right before our very eyes.

Last week our eldest decided that she would like her hair cut. Yep. Just like that. Decided it would be better at shoulder length thank you very much. It was the first lesson in "how things will be around here" as my girls become more adept at making decisions for themselves. It's funny how I struggled to not put my opinions onto her. I mean, I know it's only hair. BUT....it's hair that I have looked after for 4 years to get it to the length that it was.

Well, this morning my 14 month old decided to remind me that she is growing up waaaaaay too quickly also.

While her speech is not great (she's only saying a couple of recognisable words) compared to that of her ever so chatty sister (who started speaking at 6 months and Has. Never. Shut. Up. Since.), she is certainly the master of signals and actions.

For example, this week she has learnt the crane signals for "hoist up" and "hoist down" which, apparently, come in very handy for when she needs to be picked up or when she wants to get out of her highchair. While it's very funny, and completely cuteness in a bottle, it does concern me a little that we are encouraging her to not speak.

This morning we got up and she went straight to the cupboard and got out the cereal of her choice and then proceeded to go to the drawer to grab a bowl. She also decided that today would be the day when she would feed herself and no-one was going to help her. Ya hear that mummy? That means YOU! Back away from the spoon.

I'm growing increasingly clucky and just can't believe that she could possibly be my last baby. I feel like I'm just finding myself as a mother and, while I know I have a long way to go in raising my girls, I don't want the baby journey to end yet. Just not quite ready, ya know?

And I have to give thanks to the psychic channeller I saw the other week, who made me realise the potential harm I was doing by focusing on "not being like" rather than focusing on the kind of mother I want to be. My husband has seen a marked difference in my parenting and I, too, can feel the shift.

Something that seems so logical and rational now yet was so hard to "see" without a little push in the right direction. Focusing energy on the negatives can be such a dangerous thing and I am glad for the reminder. Because it was just that, a timely reminder. I did know it, I just didn't realise I wasn't focusing said energy in the right direction.

So, we are in the "do we-don't we" phase of baby #3. Negotiations are going well but until I'm 100% sure we are just here, in limbo, waiting for one of those beautiful "accidents" that so many others seem to pull off, therefore leaving the thought process totally out of it. But, alas, I don't think that will happen to us so we're left to'ing and fro'ing when we have good and bad days.

But really, while the decision making process is in full swing, it would be great if our 2 little misses could just slow down on the growing up thing. Just a bit.