Dad has just called to say he's been to the hospital today and grandma seems to be on the improve.
I felt it only fair that I continue this story and, who knows, maybe there is a light at the end of this tunnel. So grandma's blood levels have, in fact, risen over the past 24 hours which is a great sign. They seem to think also that she has stopped bleeding. Another great sign. They've had her up and about today - not sure how she went but Dad said she looks alot better today than yesterday.
When I saw her yesterday, she again told me she wished she could just go to sleep. She was in a bad way yesterday but Dad seems to think she has livened up a bit today - probably because of the drip they put in her arm yesterday afternoon to rehydrate her when she wouldn't drink any fluids.
So..... all in all the prognosis for today is good. I haven't had a chance to find out about the bowel control or if she is eating anything yet but at least we have a starting point. I am glad for the doctors that they seem to have got it right (even if they didn't sound confident).
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Sunday, February 26, 2006
The thing about hospitals...cont'd....
Grandma is still with us!
She's a tough old duck for 95 I must say. I would have packed it in by now and gone onto the white light. But each time she receives a blood transfusion she becomes quite positive and very willing to take any test the doctors have to offer.
The doctors are great. They are really trying to save her. I think they are amazing for putting so much time into a 95 year old instead of throwing their hands in the air and saying "well she's had a good life". I do have one gripe! I know, I know but this is serious.
After all the tests are done and we've now been through one operation (yes, that's right...the operation they said they wouldn't do because of her age only 3 weeks ago???) what quality of life can they guarantee her. I mean, great if they stop the bleeding. Let me diverse for just a minute because dad spoke with the surgeon who performed the op and he said they don't know if they've stopped the bleeding? What the? You just put a 95 year old through a surgery and you can't tell if you did the job! They removed a little bit of the small intestine that looked like it could be irregular but they could not find the source of the bleed? Again, we wait until her blood levels remain stable or drop to determine how effective the surgery was. Kinda thought they would have got that right.
Anyway, so now back to last Wednesday... The doctors medically recommend that she have an operation. She has lost control of her bowel due to the colonoscopy they medically recommended last week which found nothing. She's stopped eating at least twice due to the fasting she has to do in order to take the tests they medically recommend which in turn has made her weaker each time.
They can't guarantee the return of her bowel control even if they stop the bleeding. So what happens then. This is a 95 year old woman we are talking about who lived by herself up to this point. She could go to the toilet by herself and she could walk, something she hasn't done in a couple of weeks! Now she has a catheter and sits in her own mess until someone comes to clean her up. She's dependent on those around her to keep her dignity in tact.
So, while it's great they think they need to save her life my question remains the same.... by way of saving her life are they in fact destroying it?
She's a tough old duck for 95 I must say. I would have packed it in by now and gone onto the white light. But each time she receives a blood transfusion she becomes quite positive and very willing to take any test the doctors have to offer.
The doctors are great. They are really trying to save her. I think they are amazing for putting so much time into a 95 year old instead of throwing their hands in the air and saying "well she's had a good life". I do have one gripe! I know, I know but this is serious.
After all the tests are done and we've now been through one operation (yes, that's right...the operation they said they wouldn't do because of her age only 3 weeks ago???) what quality of life can they guarantee her. I mean, great if they stop the bleeding. Let me diverse for just a minute because dad spoke with the surgeon who performed the op and he said they don't know if they've stopped the bleeding? What the? You just put a 95 year old through a surgery and you can't tell if you did the job! They removed a little bit of the small intestine that looked like it could be irregular but they could not find the source of the bleed? Again, we wait until her blood levels remain stable or drop to determine how effective the surgery was. Kinda thought they would have got that right.
Anyway, so now back to last Wednesday... The doctors medically recommend that she have an operation. She has lost control of her bowel due to the colonoscopy they medically recommended last week which found nothing. She's stopped eating at least twice due to the fasting she has to do in order to take the tests they medically recommend which in turn has made her weaker each time.
They can't guarantee the return of her bowel control even if they stop the bleeding. So what happens then. This is a 95 year old woman we are talking about who lived by herself up to this point. She could go to the toilet by herself and she could walk, something she hasn't done in a couple of weeks! Now she has a catheter and sits in her own mess until someone comes to clean her up. She's dependent on those around her to keep her dignity in tact.
So, while it's great they think they need to save her life my question remains the same.... by way of saving her life are they in fact destroying it?
Monday, February 06, 2006
The thing about hospitals....
We had some terrible news last Monday, that is of course, after I ran over the cat.
My grandma was taken to hospital with internal bleeding and it doesn't look like she'll be coming home! Don't get me wrong, she is 95 so it's not technically a bad thing. But how do you prepare yourself to lose someone even when you know that the time is coming? And when that someone is so cool even at 95 (almost 96).
She is getting tired. They are giving her blood transfusions every 2nd day as she is still bleeding from her bowel. They are not going to investigate because even if they do find something they won't operate due to her age. That news hits homes the worst I guess! If she were a little younger they would actually do something for her but now, we just wait!
Now while I sat there all day on Thursday to try and get some answers about her condition - would you believe it's not that easy to speak with a doctor while in a hospital? - I noticed an odd thing (well apparently not so odd, but I think it's strange). People don't visit for long when you're in palliative care and your pushing 90!
My grandma shares a room with three other ladies. None of them are very well. There is only one other lady who gets a visit from her husband every day and he seems quite comfortable to just sit and chat. Not so with the children of the other ladies in the ward.
They come in, collect the washing, drop off the clean stuff, ask how they're doing and then rush out because they have somewhere more important to be. Where could be more important than with a parent that is not likely to be coming home? There is also the one that comes in and borrows money! Yes, that's right. Her mum, the one lying in the hospital bed looking very pale, is the one dishing out the coins for the cappucinos???
I wonder if they can see that person that once cared for them selflessly progressively getting worse each day. I know I can and I don't even know these women. We are one of the lucky families. Grandma can still have a conversation without forgetting who you are. She is a little forgetful but I guess after 8 blood transfusions and a few sleepless nights it's not unexpected. Gosh, I'm a third of her age and my memory seems worse than hers.
I find when I'm sitting at the hospital with her the hours just fly by and I don't feel the need to be anywhere except where I am. Right there, next to my grandma. It doesn't matter if she's sleeping because when she wakes up I'll be there. It doesn't matter if she doesn't want to talk (which she always will - that's where we inherited the ability to natter under any circumstance!). I'm happy to just sit. Just be there.
My grandma, bless her, wants me to send her a bill! She thinks she is putting me out. That I have somewhere I'd rather be. If only I could make her see there is nowhere else to be but there with her.
My grandma was taken to hospital with internal bleeding and it doesn't look like she'll be coming home! Don't get me wrong, she is 95 so it's not technically a bad thing. But how do you prepare yourself to lose someone even when you know that the time is coming? And when that someone is so cool even at 95 (almost 96).
She is getting tired. They are giving her blood transfusions every 2nd day as she is still bleeding from her bowel. They are not going to investigate because even if they do find something they won't operate due to her age. That news hits homes the worst I guess! If she were a little younger they would actually do something for her but now, we just wait!
Now while I sat there all day on Thursday to try and get some answers about her condition - would you believe it's not that easy to speak with a doctor while in a hospital? - I noticed an odd thing (well apparently not so odd, but I think it's strange). People don't visit for long when you're in palliative care and your pushing 90!
My grandma shares a room with three other ladies. None of them are very well. There is only one other lady who gets a visit from her husband every day and he seems quite comfortable to just sit and chat. Not so with the children of the other ladies in the ward.
They come in, collect the washing, drop off the clean stuff, ask how they're doing and then rush out because they have somewhere more important to be. Where could be more important than with a parent that is not likely to be coming home? There is also the one that comes in and borrows money! Yes, that's right. Her mum, the one lying in the hospital bed looking very pale, is the one dishing out the coins for the cappucinos???
I wonder if they can see that person that once cared for them selflessly progressively getting worse each day. I know I can and I don't even know these women. We are one of the lucky families. Grandma can still have a conversation without forgetting who you are. She is a little forgetful but I guess after 8 blood transfusions and a few sleepless nights it's not unexpected. Gosh, I'm a third of her age and my memory seems worse than hers.
I find when I'm sitting at the hospital with her the hours just fly by and I don't feel the need to be anywhere except where I am. Right there, next to my grandma. It doesn't matter if she's sleeping because when she wakes up I'll be there. It doesn't matter if she doesn't want to talk (which she always will - that's where we inherited the ability to natter under any circumstance!). I'm happy to just sit. Just be there.
My grandma, bless her, wants me to send her a bill! She thinks she is putting me out. That I have somewhere I'd rather be. If only I could make her see there is nowhere else to be but there with her.
Some things I have learned - Part 2
You can run over a cat and it can survive!
I know it seems like an odd statement but considering I actually did run over our cat last Monday and it is still around I'm guessing they really do have nine lives. I wonder how many of those lives are used up by something like that?
I mean, it's not just escaping by the hairs on your chinny chin chin kinda thing is it? It's actually going under the tyre! It's serious stuff.
If you haven't guessed yet, you soon will, that Monday was not a good day!!!
I know it seems like an odd statement but considering I actually did run over our cat last Monday and it is still around I'm guessing they really do have nine lives. I wonder how many of those lives are used up by something like that?
I mean, it's not just escaping by the hairs on your chinny chin chin kinda thing is it? It's actually going under the tyre! It's serious stuff.
If you haven't guessed yet, you soon will, that Monday was not a good day!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)